A Spark in the Darkness
by Laura Scofield
Summary: Set pre-BMT, in Dannyl's first year as a novice at the Guild. After putting up with mistreatment from novices and magicians alike, Dannyl finally has enough and attacks Fergun in return for the damage he's caused to his life.


**A Spark in the Darkness**

_I wrote this story as a general writing exercise, to practise improving my prose for when I begin writing a novel. It felt extremely beneficial to write something serious again, and I hope my writing style has improved since the last time I tackled a meaningful topic.  
_

**Note**:_ Set during Dannyl's first year as a novice at the Guild. I purposely don't mention the older novice by name, just in keeping with the actual BMT books. _

Dannyl strode through the trees, with no care for the snapping of twigs and crackling of leaves under his boots. Shattering the silence of the forest provided an outlet, however trivial, for the turmoil blazing inside of him.

The morning had begun about as well as Dannyl had learned to accept in the past few weeks. During and between classes, most of his fellow novices avoided eye contact with him. Others shot him the usual derisive looks which he calmly disregarded. He felt a small triumph in his fast developing skills at ignoring this behaviour from the students. Focussing his full attention on the teachers' lectures and taking down notes became enough to push aside his concern over what his classmates were doing. Even the furtive whispers had grown almost endurable.

Facing direct insults from other novices was the real trouble, however. Fergun, naturally, refused to miss any opportunity in which he could pass taunting remarks. Dannyl found it infinitely more challenging to feign indifference in these situations. The library was one of the few places of relative peace which remained to Dannyl within the Guild's confines. Or at least it had been, until today.

He had been anxiously pouring over his Healing notes in preparation for his next class, when a sneering whisper broke his concentration.

"Missing your special friend, are you?"

Dannyl felt his insides clench reflexively as though he had plunged into icy water. Biting back a retort, he tried to ignore the bait and continued looking at his notes.

To his dismay, Fergun appraised Dannyl's book before persisting, "Of course, _he_ used to help you study Healing, didn't he?" Fergun's features twisted into an ugly grimace. "I bet that wasn't all he taught you, either."

The insinuations were nothing new, but Fergun's invasion of Dannyl's solitude was. He usually only harassed him in the corridors or in class when it was possible; always when he had the security of his friends or a magician nearby in case Dannyl retaliated. But they were now in a quiet corner of the library, since most novices were still in the foodhall finishing lunch.

Fergun leaned in closer, and said in a low voice, "Everyone knows your family has overdue debts. Perhaps you were selling your… ahh… services for your friend's enjoyment." He leered. "Trying to get some extra gold by bedding anyone who'd have you."

Dannyl reacted with no thought to the consequences - it was as though all his well contained rage had finally demanded a release. Never before had he allowed his emotions to overwhelm his magical control. The force of his stunstrike sent Fergun crashing against a shelf of books, and as he thumped heavily to the ground, loosened books rained down around him. Dannyl didn't wait to see how injured the other boy might be. Snatching up his books and stuffing them in his bag, he sprinted across the library and towards the main door. Magicians and novices were already heading to investigate the source of the commotion, and they stared in bemusement as Dannyl ran in the opposite direction.

"Dannyl, what's wrong?"

He had caught a glimpse of his Alchemy teacher, Lord Rothen, but he couldn't bear facing any interrogations right now. He needed to be alone.

Without conscious decision, he found himself outside and heading towards the forest. Bittersweet memories of other forest visits dashed across his mind - sunny days when the older novice had suggested learning outside and away from other students might be stimulating. He loved being outdoors; when Dannyl asked him why once, he replied that he felt confined in the Guild buildings, surrounded by the magicians' conservative and old fashioned ways. Since their friendship had been forbidden, Dannyl began to fully comprehend how living in the Guild could indeed feel like being imprisoned.

The other boy had been the only real friend Dannyl had made since joining the Guild. _I never even wanted to come to this wretched place,_ he thought savagely. _Trust father to have made the decision that'd ruin my life. _His mind wandered grimly back to their last meeting. The rumours had been avidly circulated at court, and his father, already seething over the family's recent unpopularity over unpaid debts, was outraged that his son had been ignorant enough to let his reputation be so easily tarnished.

_The worst of it is I think I might be _exactly_ what Fergun accused me of being._ He considered the crafty scheme he had devised only a few months ago - how he had carefully selected a particular novice to request to help him with his studies. Since starting at the Guild, it had been growing harder to ignore his attraction to other boys. Dannyl's interest had been caught when he learned about a novice who'd allegedly kissed his male friend but been refuted, only to be turned into something of a joke among the students. Desperate for someone to talk to about his unusual feelings, Dannyl had approached the novice under the pretence of needing extra Healing lessons.

Fergun had been wrong in his insinuation that he and the older novice had been lovers, however. Despite the friendship which developed between them, the other boy had indicated no interest in becoming romantically involved. Dannyl had harboured rather different feelings, but now he could identify it as desperation to experience what it was like to be with a man. His insides squirmed as he recalled his fantasies about having an illicit love affair; with someone who truly loved him but was also his best friend. Looking back dispassionately, it was clear that the older boy had taken on his tutelage to earn some respect, since mentoring younger novices was looked on favourably by the teachers.

Dannyl found himself at the spring, having hardly noticed where he was going. Snatches of sunny evenings spent under the trees around the water's edge invaded his mind. His memories seemed only to mock him now - their laughter and warmth conquered by his hatred and self-disgust.

_Perhaps Fergun is right, and I deserve to be treated like this. _After all, could he really believe that his attraction for men was normal? Every restless night he tore his feelings apart, deliberating over how he could use his magic to change whatever was wrong with him. It took every scrap of resolve he had to get out of bed each morning, and spend yet another day confronting the judging glances and vulgar allusions. His stomach ached perpetually - not just from his new habit of skipping meals to avoid Fergun in the Guildhall, but also from the weight of his dejected spirits.

As he watched the sun's light glittering innocently on the water, Dannyl's mind jerked back to a family seaside trip a few years ago, where the neglect of his older brother almost led to him drowning when he'd gone far out of his depth. He could still recall his terror as he struggled to keep above the surface, sheer determination to live overcoming his exhaustion.

But now he thought bitterly that fate had cheated him that day. Wouldn't it have been better for everyone if he hadn't survived the ordeal? But perhaps he had _finally_ discovered a solution, a means out of his predicament. He was surprised it hadn't occurred to him before now…

"Dannyl? What are you doing here?"

He whipped his head around to face the unexpected disruption to his thoughts. Lord Rothen had emerged into the clearing.

The injustice of an impending reprimand, on top of everything else, made something snap inside of Dannyl. Despite the warmth of the day an icy chill shot through him. Struggling to keep his voice from shaking, he answered coldly, "Getting away from that spiteful little bastard!"

He thought he saw the man wince. "I'm not saying what you did to Fergun was right, but I've seen and heard how he treats you. I've tried discussing it with the other teachers-"

"I'm sure they all believe his lies!" Dannyl interjected, crossing his arms.

Lord Rothen looked genuinely apologetic, and hesitated before replying, "I know the other teachers ignore his behaviour, and most seem indifferent whenever I've approached them about the issue. But I think it's clear that what you did to Fergun earlier was only an inevitable reaction."

Surprised by his teacher's support, but still mistrustful of the small spark of gratitude he had given Dannyl, he responded bitterly, "But nobody else is going to think that way." He began to feel ashamed of his outbursts - after all this was the first person who had openly taken his side.

"Dannyl, you're not alone. Or at least you don't have to be."

"Of course I am," Dannyl felt the last of his anger ebb away, and dejection seep through him instead. What was Lord Rothen talking about? How could they prevent anyone from taking heed of the rumours?

Rothen moved closer, and his expression was apologetic. "I won't be able change the opinions of other magicians, or novices. I'm ashamed that even my fellow teachers have let Fergun's rumours affect how they treat you." He placed his hand firmly on Dannyl's shoulder. "But I want to help you, Dannyl. If you'll accept my help, that is."

Dannyl's thoughts were racing, how could his teacher possibly improve his situation? Rothen answered his silent confusion with a reassuring smile.

"I want to take on your Guardianship. If you'll have me as a Guardian, that is."

Dannyl felt dazed. For the past few weeks he had felt as though he'd been ensnared in a slowly closing trap, with no conceivable means of escape. But now Lord Rothen had presented not only a way out, but the possibility that things might actually get better. To be offered a Guardianship was an honour which very few novices, even those from the most respected of families, received. A peculiar feeling began coursing through him; something he hadn't had reason to experience in a long time.

With a jolt, he realised it was hope.

* * *

_Writing this helped me remember that I can write serious material when needed; even though the editing process is a lot more demanding than for light-hearted stories (this was one of the longest one-shots to write that I've done). I'd appreciate any feedback; tips for improvement are always welcome :D_

_Thanks also to my boyfriend for promising to read and review ;) Hopefully it's not as scary as my other stories!_


End file.
